My New Challenging Journey.... From the Beginning!

Who would have "thunk it!!" After being a volunteer for the American Cancer Society for 10 years involved with Relay for Life and supporting cancer survivors.... AND walking in the Susan Komen Race for a Cure Breast Cancer Walk in Boise for 8 years......who would have known that in Sept. 2008, I would become a victim of the disease that I have supported for so long. It hardly seems fair... but as those of us who have been involved with Relay For Life have found..."Cancer" does not discriminate. For some reason, beyond my control, I have been chosen to travel the cancer victim's journey. I will call it my "Pink Journey" since "pink" is the color that represents breast cancer.

I have had trouble keeping up with my emails because of work and because of events concerning this new journey I am traveling, so decided to try to post this blogspot so that I could record things once. Then those who want can come to this site to keep posted on what is going on. This way, hopefully, I will not forget to get back to someone who has emailed, called, or sent me messages. I apologize to those whom I have neglected and hope this helps solve that problem.

I will try to go clear back to the beginning so that this will also serve as a journal for me to keep track of what is happening in this new segment of my life. So.... I will try go back to when this whole journey began.

August 12th, 2008........It all began on this day when I had my annual yearly checkup. Just the norm as you who do this also know. Mammogram, annual check, bloodwork... the usual. I have had to have bloodwork checks because I have to check my cholestrol about every 6 months. This particular trip, also had me having aspirations of some cysts in my left breast which I have had to do since about 2001. Nothing different than any of my last several exams.

August 25th, 2008....... I got scheduled for a re-do mammogram for this day. There were reports of some suspicious calcifications and so because the radiologist was in Burley on this day... the repeat mammogram was done. It was important to get another view of those questionable areas. Late that afternoon, I was on my way to Twin Falls to celebrate my friend's birthday when I received a call from my OB-GYN doctor, telling me that the radiologist informed him that it was verified that there were suspicious calcifications that needed further investigation and would require a biopsy. He told me he was referring me to a surgeon for that procedure. Since I was already a patient of Dr. Amy Kauffman, he called her and informed her of the new findings. She would be contacting me and taking over this case.

Sept. 16th, 2008....... I had an appointment with Dr. Kauffman. She checked my mammogram films and used the ultrasound machine to see if we could find any calcifications with that. She also checked my left side and found that we could see several cysts again, even though I had just had them aspirated. Some were quite large. After checking for the calcifications on the right side, she also checked my lymph nodes under both arms to see if she could see anything suspicious. After the exam, she chatted with me. Before she would discuss the biopsy of the right side, she said that we needed to discuss the recurring cysts in my left side. She informed me that her books say that after the 3rd aspiration if cysts reappear, they need to be removed. Well, since I had only been her patient since she came to Burley (3 years), I had to tell her that I have had them done every year since 2001. This only solidified her case... that they needed to come out. So, while we were going to schedule a biopsy of the suspicious calcifications of the right side and since we were already going to be in surgery, she recommended that the left side be taken care of at the same time. What choice did I have..... you do what you have to do.... so... we scheduled surgery for both sides on the same day. Lucky me!!!!!!

Sept. 22nd, 2008....... Same day surgery...Had to be there by 10:00, wire localization at 11:00 with radiology, and surgery at 12:30 or so. The first part of the morning was the easiest. The paperwork and the IV placement and prelim questions. After that it all went downhill. At 11:00 I was taken to radiology to get the wire localization done. My sister-in-law works in there so she and another gal were there to help with this procedure. To start off with, the radiology Dr. was new... never been to Burley before. So of course, they don't do things the way they do it where he came from. I had to have some pictures done first so that the radiology Dr. could place the wire. They deadened me, poked and placed a needle to place the wire etc. Well, besides not eating since midnight and the fact that the room was hot... after the first few pictures still standing up by the mammography machine... I began feeling hot... I mentioned it to my sister-in-law, Karen, and she immediately said... that means you are going to pass out. They both very quickly got me to sit down (once I let go of the machine....I hung on cuz I didn't want to fall down), they put me on the bench and had me lay down and put my legs in the air. How embarrassing!!!! The Dr. told me that it was okay.. he had done many of these procedures with people on the floor. He said people only pass out once and since I had passed out already, I was done for the day! They had to do more pictures so once I got my wits about me again, I had to stand up again for more pictures to make sure the wire was in the right place and something about dye too. Took more pics and then sat on the bench waiting for the okay that the pictures were good enough so that we wouldn't have to take anymore. Well, all I remember is seeing the Dr., Karen and the other gal talking at the counter... and I, again, began to feel hot..... so I tried to start my own deep breathing, stretched out my legs.... and that was it.... The next thing I remember is the three of them over me asking if I was okay, telling me to breathe deeply.. I couldn't figure out where the heck I was... and for a brief moment wondered if I had died and gone to heaven. All I could see what the white ceiling above me...people talking to me and me still not quite sure what was going on. After I got it together again... I found they had laid me down on the bench again, lifted my legs as best they could in the air... but this time ran to get me some oxygen. I had to sit there on the bench for quite some time breathing fresh oxygen to get to where I felt good again. Karen said I really passed out good because they kept telling her to raise up my legs and she couldn't because she said I had them tucked in and so tight that she couldn't move them. Guess I proved that new Dr. wrong. So much for only happening one time. I guess I gave the other gal quite a scare, too. When they were able to wheel me back to my same day surgery room.. I told them... they had been complaining how their morning was going so I had just given them some excitement and something to talk about the rest of the day.

Karen took me back to my room and it was about 12:05 so I thought to myself it would only be a short time and they would come and get me for surgery and then I could be done and back home. WRONG!!!!! I was informed that my surgery was pushed back closer to 2:30. Well, I read a whole book as the clock ticked away. Karen came back to check on me around 2:00 thinking I would be done... and I had not even gone in yet. Well, 2:30 came and went so I started reading my second book. More time went by, Karen came by on her way home and still I was awaiting my turn in the surgery room. She left and said she would just call us later at home. It was after 3:00 when they finally came to get me so by the time surgery started... I am sure it was 3:30. It was darn cold in that operating room! Good thing they give you a warm blanket and put you to sleep! All I remember when in the operating room was that I felt like Jesus on the cross only instead of being vertical I was laying horizontal.. They strapped me to the table, but put both of my arms out to each side on boards...one with the IV and one with the blood pressure machine. I was laying in a perfect "t" position. That's the last I remember.

Steve told me Dr. Kauffman came out to talk to him at about 5:00 to tell him the surgery was over and that I would be in recovery for about an hour. When I woke up I remember shaking to death. It was so darn cold!!!! They took me back to the room (think it was about 6:00 p.m.) and asked me if I wanted some juice. All I could think of was how cold and shaky I was and something cold to drink did not sound good at all. My nurse suggested hot broth. I took her up on that because I couldn't stop shaking. It did the trick for me and warmed me up right away. After I felt good enough, they began to get my dismissal papers ready. By this time it was close to 7:00 p.m. I told her that if she didn't get me out of there I would have been there about 10 hours. I was told to get dressed when I felt good enough. While getting ready... I had to laugh when getting dressed. While in surgery, they had put an expandable stretch binding around me. My nurse told me that I should continue to wear it for a few days after surgery. I was not expecting to see what I saw when getting dressed. I was expecting some typical beige colored stretchy material. Well... to my surprise... when I saw what I was wearing... I felt like a little teeny bopper again or a little toddler in a sundress. I had a binding on that looks like the elasticized tops on little girls sundresses they wear in the summer with the little spaghetti straps to hold it on! Only this was minus the straps! Not only did it look like a little girls top... it was pink and had little ruffles on the top and bottom. Just like the little midriff tops we wore as kids. What a crack up it was to me! At least I could still laugh at something with the kind of day I had had. We finally left the hospital around 7:00 that evening. We had to stop off at the drug store to get some pain pills on the way home so by the time we made it there... it was about 7:30 p.m. What a long day it had been!!!!!

When at home, I was not too tired at all. My friend, Jodie came over to visit with me for a short time. After she left, I stayed up and watched some television before settling in for the night.

Sept. 23rd, 2008....... I went back to work the next morning feeling pretty good. Not too sore! I got to wear my cute little pink binder! What a crack up! I looked forward to the day when I didn't need to wear it anymore. Even after a couple of days... it was rubbing and giving me a rash.

Sept. 30th, 2008....... When I left the house on this morning, my intentions were to go to my follow-up Dr. appt. after school and then attend a Burley-Minico rivalry volleyball game to watch my friend, Jodie's daughter play.

I refer to this day as "C" Day! I went to my appt. to meet with Dr. Kauffman to discuss the results from the biospy I had the week before. She let me know that the pathology report found that the calcifications were actually cancer cells. I was told I had a type of breast cancer called DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma in situ) Stage 0. In situ meant it was non-invasive and not life threatening. That was a shock to me but I was trying very hard to listen to what my doctor was telling me. She told me I had two choices to consider. 1) lumpectomy and radiation or 2) mastectomy. To myself... I was thinking....."wait a minute, you just told me this was Stage 0 and non-invasive and doesn't spread. Why are my options so drastic.. like someone with stages 4 or 5?" Because of my lack of a medical history (being adopted at 3 weeks old) my Dr. couldn't give me a definite recommendation as to which direction to go. If she knew I had cancer or breast cancer in my history, she would most likely recommend mastectomy, but since we don't know anything we would have to try to decide what we thought would be best for me and my future. I did my best to maintain while at the office. She asked me to make another appt. in a week or so, and come back to discuss what option I decided upon.

I barely made it out to my car and I just fell apart. I had held it in as long as I could. I drove home to inform Steve of my results. After a short time, I decided I needed some alone time and told Steve I was going to go back to school to work. I left and ran to the gas station to get gas. It wasn't until I was almost to my school that I realized that I had not gone in and paid for my gas. Thank heavens the clerks know me and that it was my brother-in-law's gas station. They had pulled the ticket and set it aside. I quickly called Steve and had him go make it good for me. I decided I couldn't just sit at school so decided to just drive around to try to get a grip of what just happened to my world. I had some very caring people trying to reach me on my cell phone... but at the time... I didn't want to talk to anyone... and needed more time to absorb the news and figure out what to do. I know now that it was wrong to ignore and worry everyone... but at the time I was needing to be alone. I must have driven around for two and a half to three hours all over both Burley and Rupert countryside. Now I couldn't even tell you what I saw except Heyburn and Acequia's brand new schools that are being built.

I got to my school around 8:30 p.m. and called my daughters so that they wouldn't worry anymore. Kristin informed me that ironically, at the same time I was at the Dr.'s office getting my news, Oprah had a special on her show that afternoon on Breast Cancer and Christina Applegate had told her story of her breast cancer experience. What kind of timing is that? A friend at school taped that program for me and I found out that while that show was playing... Oprah said, "During the hour this show runs today, 5 people will die of breast cancer and another 20 will hear the words, "You have Cancer!" Wow!!! I was one of those 20 that particular day during that particular hour! Amazing how things happen and when!

So Sept. 30th became the day my life took a drastic turn. "C" (cancer) Day! I became a breast cancer victim and had to start making some serious decisions that would have an affect on the rest of my life! On that day... I didn't have a clue how I was going to be able to handle it and wasn't so sure I wanted to. Trouble is..... I didn't have a choice!